Lesson 8: Apologise
apology is the super glue of life. It can repair just about anything.
is one of the most powerful ways to be a BRIDGE BUILDER. A heartfelt apology
can show the other person that you understand that what you did hurt them, and
it should involve either a response to fix the problem or an acknowledgement
that you won’t repeat the behaviour. However, apologies are often delivered
poorly or over-used, and they fall short of being effective. It is important to
teach children the skills and language that help this strategy be more
effective. Remind children to look at the person when they are saying sorry,
and to use their name and apologise for what they have done that has caused the
hurt. They can then either commit to trying not to do it again or offer to do
something to fix it. To really be effective in building bridges the person who
received the apology will either say “Thanks for saying sorry.”, “Apology
accepted.” or ‘I forgive you.’
Lazare, the former Dean Chancellor of the University of Massachusetts Medical
School, wrote a book about the apology, which he referred to as “one of the
most profound interactions two human beings can have with one another.” His
research noted that “while good apologies have the power to heal, bad ones only
make things worse.”
Tips to teach this skill at home:
1. Demonstrate this skill to your child
as often as you can.
2. Encourage them to practise with you
– check their tone of voice and that they are standing bravely.
3. When they have a conflict with a
sibling, once they have calmed down, see if they can have a try at the using
4. With your child, visit the BRIDGE
BUILDERS® Online Learning Program Lesson Eight and do some of the fun
activities as a family. Validating this learning empowers your child with
valuable skills to learn how to; Apologise and be empowered for life!
By Jocelyne Chirnside
Empowering Life Skills